Comic Belief

My own bloggable spin on life

Yup, I’m still a waitress.

Unfortunately I have not kept up with my blog lately, mostly due to the fact that I have been too preoccupied with the exciting events that have been occurring in my life. Let me share some of my recent adventures in convenient list form so as to not overwhelm you with colorful details:

-Today I waited tables for 5 hours, then spent the little money I made on gas and pickles.

-I am almost completely up to date on Parks and Recreation, Breaking Bad, and How I Met Your Mother, thanks to Netflix.

-I am enjoying the new digs except for the constant presence of various insects and one very persistent squirrel/rat/possum/giant-mutant-killer-rabbit who lives in our attic

-Today I used my birthday money to buy 2 pairs of shoes and saved $20! Woooooooooo!

-No one wants to hire anyone who doesn’t have at least 3 years of experience FROM MYSTERY STARTING JOB THAT DOESN’T EXIST ANYWHERE.

-I tried Insanity and came to the conclusion that I hate cardio workouts. So much. They are stupid and pointless and I love pizza, dammit.

-It’s almost Fall!! I love Fall!! Halloween and leaves and pumpkins and cooking and hoodie weather!!

-My roommates and I hosted a party recently, and it was awesome, and we are awesome.

OK, that last one was pretty much the most exciting thing that has happened lately. However, this morning I attended a job fair. For those of you who have never been to a job fair, let me break it down for you: You build your hopes up the night before, preparing a professional outfit to wear and printing off several copies of your resume. If you are up to it, you even wake up early and iron your clothes to attend said fair 2 1/2 hours before having to be at work waiting tables. You then arrive at your destination to be greeted by a mass of people in button-up shirts and khakis with manilla file folders in their hands, all waiting for the same thing as you – to be given the chance to earn a paycheck. Once inside, you will fight the crowds to gain access to the various vendor booths, all of which offer various temptations, such as pens or fun-size candy bars (I was particularly drawn to a table that had donut holes, which was frustrating because it was a manufacturing business which I was in no way qualified for and therefore did not give me an excuse to obtain said delicious pastries). Everywhere you go, there will be a line of professional-looking people in front of you, and all of them will be talking non-stop to their prospective employers in an effort to make a good impression, but instead just being annoying as hell and taking up everyone’s valuable time. In my case, I was one of the few “younger” people there, so I didn’t have 5 years of filing experience or a license to operate a forklift, unlike most of the people in front of me. So anyway, a job fair is pretty much just speed-dating with businesses, and it’s no less desperate. In a speed-dating service you have a bunch of strangers just looking for someone to love them forever, or mess around with them temporarily until they find what they’re really looking for, and it’s no different, in theory, with a job fair. Everyone’s either looking for a career, or looking for something to pay the bills to they can just get by until something better comes along.

At this point, I’d just like to get back into a routine and not have to worry about whether I can pay my bills or not, so bring on the boring desk job. Mr. Right Career will come around sooner or later as long as I keep looking, but never lose hope.

In the meantime, back to watching Breaking Bad. Post again soon….I hope!


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12 thoughts on “Yup, I’m still a waitress.

  1. terrazasmichael on said:

    How many of those resumes that you printed out did you still have when you left the job fair? Good Luck with the job hunt:)

  2. I know the feeling about your job hunt.

    You do have me curious on something — have you thought of building your resume or putting out your experience as a freelance editor? (I’m new to your blog so please, don’t take a cricket bat to my face if someone has suggested this before.) I have a lot of friends who are either professional writers or promising writers, and they are in desperate need of editing. Also, I’ve been watching the job market open up more for people needing bloggers in the professional sector.

    Have you looked into that?

  3. I went to a party you and your roommates hosted. It was pretty fun..but I’m pretty sure I was the like of the party by topping the pizza with chili cheese fritos. Just saying.

  4. ‘giant-mutant-killer-rabbit who lives in our attic’

    Care to expand on this…?

  5. I see.

    Just remember ‘giant-mutant-killer-rabbit who lives in our attic’ = $.

    I will only charge a small 70% fee for this information. If said animal is ever caught and turns profitable.

  6. I feel a holy hand grenade would effect profitability. A dead ‘giant-mutant-killer-rabbit’ in several pieces would not, for example, be able to perform tricks in a giant-mutant-killer-rabbit circus = $$.

    What you need is a very large box, preferably wooden. And a brave soul to dress up in an exceptionally large carrot costume, to lure the beast.

  7. Interesting concern, though more so for the person dressed up as the carrot. Maybe host another party with a vegetable and meat theme, leaving the attic open. All tastes should then be acquired for and a side step on the awkwardness of asking for volunteers.

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